Shit smells like avocados and rotting fish. Farts smell similar. Intake is questionable. Flank-steak, couscous, sweet potato, chips and salsa, beer, peanut butter, chocolate cake, budget cola, 2 breakfast burritos, a hash browns and a cup of coffee, a whole roast beef sandwich, an apple, oh Jesus….no wonder the evil has come to me. Feeling portly and jovial. My anus hurts. I thought I had a case of the rhoids, but a more direct prodding and the use of a crude hand mirror disclosed the truth: I simply have mild anal irritation. I blame the crude nature of my toilet paper for such a crime against my rectal walls.
Rectum Rectum Rectum, all day long. You ruin all my bike rides, contaminate my thongs. If I could lop you off, dear sir, I wouldn’t wait a moment But alas, you’re just a hole and if I did the taint might foment.
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